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  • Writer's picturelindsay

Wicked Awesome Family of Choice

My thoughts have been on community and the creation of a family of choice. I am lucky enough to have many wonderful people in my world that I share a point of view, passion and sense of humor with. Some of these are members of my family of origin, most are not. Several are cherished souls that live many (too many) miles and several states away. While we are all busy adults with careers, hobbies and families of our own, we work to maintain our relationships. Several are encouraging supporters that I (gratefully) live in the same PDX metro area as, people who I can gather with, while we grow rooted in friendship and common life goals.

We as humans are a community driven, connection craving species. Without the community behind us we would not have survived in generations past. We relied on the extended family to gather enough food and supplies, for protection and healing. While modern life has changed many things, the base need to connect in authentic loving relationships has not.

These days my survival does not depend on the crop my cousin brings, the fire wood of their parents and meat of my family ranch, so there are times that "family" feels less clearly defined than it once had; but the love and care we do depend on is still present.

Finding these individuals (again if your family of origin fills this, bonus points) to build a community with is a beautiful way to build safety within the world. It is less tangible than in years past but no less important. In the face of chaos, we retreat to safety, familiarity and love. It is ok to find that in people outside of your "kinfolk". I have worked with many clients in recent years coming to terms with and redefining what family means to them. I find this work to be so essential for us to create healthy boundaries and healthy hearts/minds.

If you are struggling with finding your community, take time to sit with your feelings and needs, to define your values and determine who in your life is sharing in your passion and path. That is the best place to start in cultivating your family of choice.
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